Noticing Blessings: Overcoming Negativity and Entitlement

Dave Jackson:
Hey, as I record this, it is the week of Thanksgiving, and I thought we'd take some time to talk about why we should be spending more time giving thanks. Not only does it benefit you spiritually, it's biblical, but it also can help you physically, mentally. And if you're a person that's like, I got nothing to be thankful for. Maybe you're not looking in the right places. I'll sing it. All right, so here we go. It is the week of Thanksgiving here in the United States on, or as the rest of the world calls it, Thursday. And I thought I would talk a bit about the importance of giving thanks.

Dave Jackson:
And again, if you're that person that's like, I don't think so, Dave. Let's start off with 1 Thessalonians 5, 18. It says, Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ. Jesus Christ. For you notice, not some of the circumstances, not maybe when you feel like it. No, all the time. So why should we be more grateful? Well. And why does he need to tell us to do that? Because it's kind of not natural.

Dave Jackson:
The human brain has a built in kind of negativity bias, especially if you turn on the tv, where they just want a scared and scared and afraid. But the brain notices problems, pains, threats, way more than blessings because that helped our ancestors survive when it was time to run away from the bear or something like that. And when the mind keeps scanning for what's wrong. Yeah, gratitude kind of gets crowded out. And if you don't believe me, think of something somebody said that really hurt you. See how quick that came to mind? Yeah. Now think of the nicest thing somebody's ever said to you. And it might take a little longer, but let's take a look at what's stopping us from being grateful.

Dave Jackson:
And of course, the top one is envy and comparison, Right? Comparison is the thief of joy. We've talked about that before. But it makes us stare at what others have and what we lack, right? And that makes it hard to see what's already in our own hands. Good old Pride boy. So many people now entitled, right? We're like, well, I deserve this. You know, these gifts feel like rights. I'm entitled to these. Well, if everything is owed to me, well, there's really nothing left to say thanks for because, well, that should have happened because, you know, I'm me.

Dave Jackson:
Then another one is resentment or unresolved hurt. You know, we talked about that nasty thing that somebody said to you, right? Hurt people keep replaying the wrongs done to them over and over. It's like, hey, here's the top 40 things that drive you crazy. Right? Here are the top things that make you want to cry. And it's very hard again to feel grateful and bitter at the same time. I'm so thankful. I hate this person. That usually doesn't work that way.

Dave Jackson:
And really, when Jesus taught us to pray, there's that whole as we forgive others who sin against us. Yeah, resentment isn't really meant to be part of our lives. And in the end, I think it just takes practice. If you look at pride, envy, all those things, resentment, that's just sin. It's just Satan getting the best of us. Gratitude is kind of less of a natural reflex and it's more learned. It needs practice. I know that it's a spirit shaped habit that pushes back against really all of our internal wiring.

Dave Jackson:
Throw in our wounds, throw in the world. Right? And practices of gratitude, things like naming your specific blessings or expressing thanks to others. Ladies, you want to have your man just in a great mood the next time he takes out the trash. Be sure to tell him the next time he does anything. Men love to be thanked. We love to feel useful. We love to feel respected. And when you combine that gratitude, that lament of thank you with gratitude, it can really retrain attention and kind of soften the whole entitlement thing.

Dave Jackson:
And so I was thinking about it. It's weird. I'll give you an example. I think I've talked about this on the show. It's getting cold here in Ohio. And I went to the Internet, went to YouTube and I said, which way am I supposed to have my ceiling fan turn? I forget. And it was like clockwise, yada, yada. And I mean, I got that instantly.

Dave Jackson:
And I'm old enough to remember, like you had, if you were lucky enough, an encyclopedia. And if it wasn't in your encyclopedia, then you had to go to the library. And the fact that we have so much information at the tip of our fingers, we have a library in our pocket. But we often overlook things that we should be thankful for. Like one, hey, guess what? You're listening to this. So that means you've got the Internet. That means you've got a computer or a phone. And even that, were you thankful that you were able to get up today, like you opened your eyes, or the ability to walk or talk or think, all those things, if you've ever had them taken away.

Dave Jackson:
You're like, holy cow, a warm furnace when it gets cold out. Or that we all hate the first time you turn on the furnace because all that furnacey smell, dust comes into your house. But on the other hand, we should be like, hey, it's not going to be cold this winter. Or if you've ever lost your fridge, when you open up the door and you're like, wow, all this food is not spoiling and it's cold, or a roof over your head or a car that starts, or, I don't know, this thing called food. And even more, the ability to choose what we get to eat. You open up the fridge, you're like, ah, do I want a salami? Maybe I'll make a salad. Maybe I'll do this. Maybe I'll eat the leftover pork chop.

Dave Jackson:
You got a choice. A lot of places it's like, here's your mud pie or whatever, right? Your freedom. You know, the fact that you do get to choose what you want to do, or the sun or the rain, you know, those are all needed to make food. And there are times when we're not crazy about the rain. We'll talk about that a little later. And if I can talk to the Christians in America, we feel sometimes like we are being persecuted, but we are not. And I have a friend of mine that went to a Jewish funeral at a synagogue and they had guards at the back door because if you have ever watched the news, you know, the Jews are often way more persecuted and people come in. You know, we have had people shoot up churches, but at least at my church, we don't have any armed guards.

Dave Jackson:
And we're there, we have a building that says, this is where we come to worship Christ. There are other people that are doing it in a basement, in a tunnel. It could be a whole lot worse. Let's go that route. And we should be grateful for that, that we are able to worship openly. But when I was really starting to think about things that we take for granted, and this might be because I'm a musician, but music is way different than when I grew up. I mean, when we grew up, we would go to the store and line up outside for Tuesday because the new album was coming out. We were very excited about it.

Dave Jackson:
Why? Well, because this was new stuff. It was information we couldn't get anywhere. And I remember getting a new album, being so excited and. And you would open up, you would take it out of its plastic, you would pull the inner sleeve out, you'd take that album and you'd make sure not to get fingerprints on it. You'd put it on the turntable Put that needle down and you would start to read. At least I did the inner sleeve, the back jacket. And it dawned on me that I was talking to my brother about this. He says, you realize TV came out in the 60s.

Dave Jackson:
Like really? That's where it really started to take off. And he goes, there wasn't a million things to do. And he's like. So we would read the inner sleeve and I would know every person's name in the band. And I knew that it was Rudy on bass and Kevin was the singer and Carlos was the guitar player and et cetera, et cetera. We knew who the producer was. And I could say, oh, wow, this guy produced the last album by this other. We knew all that stuff.

Dave Jackson:
And you would put the album on and you would listen to the album. Now this sounds weird. We would give it our undivided attention and just listen because this was something that we owned and it was something that we. You couldn't get this on the radio. Sure. They might play one song and if you really like the song, you would try to record it on a cassette, you know, so you could listen to it. But most of the time you didn't have any. There was no On Demand back then.

Dave Jackson:
And it was so weird. I had a friend of mine we were talking about, and I'm assuming this is a national thing, but here in Ohio, especially where I live in Akron, where it was the rubber capital of the world, Firestone, the people that make tires would come up with these Christmas albums. And we were talking about it and he sent me a link of a picture because he's really getting into vinyl. And it was a picture. And as soon as I saw the album cover, I just got flooded with nostalgia. Like, just the feeling. I was back in my living room getting ready to set the table and we're listening to the Christmas music and all that fun stuff. But I mean, I vividly remember because it was important and it was new and it was exciting.

Dave Jackson:
I can see my dad walking in the back door with a long coat on because it's winter. And it was double breasted, so you had the buttons kind of on both sides. And he had the new Firestone Christmas album. And what's weird is these are all now on YouTube and I was just flooded. And what's interesting is they don't make those anymore. They occasionally not Firestone, but other people will do a compilation album. But basically because there's no business in the music business and everybody saw a good idea. So then Goodyear started doing it.

Dave Jackson:
And Sears and JCPenney. Everybody had this Christmas album thing, and it kind of lost some of its luster, but they quit doing it. And now, fast forward. I use Spotify on my phone. It has, are you ready for this? A hundred million songs. And that was of 220 or 20, 24. 100 million songs. You name a song, I can probably find it on Spotify.

Dave Jackson:
And what's interesting is the younger kids, as much as they grew up with, you know, a library of music in their pocket, they're starting to cancel their Spotify accounts. A, because Spotify keeps raising the price. B, they don't pay the musicians anything. And it kind of dawned on them that really we're renting the music. And when you have to buy changes the relationship, because it's not. I mean, I'll give you an example. I remember when Striper's new album came out. I'm a big Striper fan, and it was Striper, and Michael Sweet is hitting notes so high that only dogs can hear.

Dave Jackson:
And it's hard and it's crunchy and great guitar work on it. And when it was done, I was like, yeah, it wasn't bad. It was good. And then I was on to the next thing, like, all right, been there, done that. Where. If that had been an album back in the 70s and 80s, I would have like, okay, let's listen to another one of my. Whatever albums. I ended up having, like, 300 albums by the time I eventually just threw them away.

Dave Jackson:
But it's really a great example of how we take things for granted. And what I'm worried about is when you have an endless supply that's just always there, you can take it for granted because you can just go back later. And I wonder sometimes, are we taking God for granted because he's always there? You know, the Bible says there is nothing, nothing that can separate us from the love of God. And so, you know, I'll just go back later. I wonder about that. And there's a great example of this in Luke 17, 11, 19. And it says, now on his way. And in this case, his.

Dave Jackson:
That would be Jesus on his way to Jerusalem. Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. And as he was going into a village, 10 men who had leprosy met him. And they stood at a distance because, you know, leprosy. And they called out in a loud voice, jesus, master, have pity on us. And when he saw them, he said, go show yourselves to the priests. And as they went, they were cleansed. One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back praising God in a loud voice.

Dave Jackson:
He threw himself at Jesus feet and thanked him. And he was a Samaritan. And back then the Jews and the Samaritans were not exactly buddies. But he came back anyway. And Jesus asked, well, were not all 10 cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner? And then he said to him, rise and go. Your faith has made you well. 90% didn't take time to go, hey, I had this horrible disease where eventually my body parts would just fall off. Thanks.

Dave Jackson:
They were on to the next thing. That's amazing. And if we step away from the Bible and the fact that Paul tells us, you know, Psalm 100, enter his gates with thanksgiving. But the health benefits, when you're grateful, you tend to have lower blood pressure, healthier heart rate patterns, better markers related to heart disease risk. And they say simple practices like journaling have been linked with drops in diastolic blood pressure across dozens of studies. Higher gratitude levels, it's consistent and associated with fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety, and higher in life satisfaction and a greater sense of meaning. So people who regularly practice gratitude, they report better sleep quality and they fall asleep faster. And in some studies, gratitude journaling again, has directly improved sleep and daytime energy because gratitude, it nudges people towards healthier choices like better eating, more exercise, sticking with medical advice.

Dave Jackson:
Which partly explains why those with a grateful outlook often age better and feel better in daily life. Now, I'm an old teacher, so I like to assign homework. And there's an app. You don't have to use an app for this, but you know me, I'm a giant nerd. It was called the Five Minute Journal, and I think now they just call it the journal. I know, what do you call it? Apple has a journal. But you would open it up in the morning and you would. Basically the idea would be you would start off the day, three things I'm grateful for.

Dave Jackson:
And so for me, I just opened up mine. And this is from a while ago. Air conditioning, freedom of choice, and parks. And then you are supposed to write down three daily affirmations. I'm not giving up. This is what I put down. I'm not giving up. I accept who I am.

Dave Jackson:
I am still learning. And then at the end of your day, you're supposed to write down three things that made the day amazing. So you started off the day with three things that you were grateful for, and then three things that made the day amazing. So you started your Day with gratitude. And you ended your day with gratitude. So again, I'll put a link to this app. But you could do this in anything. You could even use this thing called paper and pen if you wanted to.

Dave Jackson:
And the reason they called it the Five Minute Journal is. Cause it takes five minutes or less to do that. It just gets you in the mindset of being grateful. Now, if you're that person that's like, dave, man, I'm having a bad time. I don't know where God is. Well, God's always working. We may just not see it. So let me tell you a story.

Dave Jackson:
Tim Tebow was a somewhat famous quarterback. He played for the Gators down in Florida and the. And then later, he played for a couple teams primarily known for the Broncos. And when he was in college, they would put that black stuff under their eyes, and then he would take a silver Sharpie or something, and they would draw something on the black. So he put Philippians 4:13, which is, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And he did that all season. He makes it to the championship game, and he decides to change it from Philippians 4:13 to John 3:16. Well, the game was on January 8th.

Dave Jackson:
That'll be important in a second. And that night, they go on to actually win the championship. And the PR guy for the Gators calls the coach the next day and says, hey, let Tim know that 94 million people searched for John 3:16. And it was trending all over the place. And Tim's kind of like, it's John 3:16. Like 94 million people, like Sunday school. What's going on? Well, if you fast forward three years, it's January 8th again, and Tim is again with the Broncos. He's playing against the Steelers.

Dave Jackson:
It's a playoff game, and they end up going into overtime, and they win it. And here again, the PR person from the Broncos, they stop him and said, hey, Tim, do you know what just happened? And Tim's like, duh, we just won in overtime. We're going to go on and play New England. And he said, no, man, this is exactly three years from the time you put John 3:16 into your eyes. And Tim's like, oh, wow, really? Okay, well, that's awesome. That's cool. And the PR guy says, no, no, you don't realize. During the game, you threw for 316 yards.

Dave Jackson:
Your yards per rush were 3.16. Your yards per completion were 31.6. The time of possession was 31.06. And the ratings for that Night for that football game was 31.6. And during the game, 90 million people googled John 3:16. And it's the number one thing on social media. So just because you don't see it doesn't mean God isn't working in your life. You have to keep your eyes open.

Dave Jackson:
So last night as I record this, I'm out buying some battery powered candles to put in my windows. We're getting ready for Christmas and it's cold and it's raining, and I hate that combination. I hate to drive. I sound like I'm old. I don't like to drive at night, but I don't like to drive at night. And if it's raining, I really hate to drive at night. And it's cold. I keep telling myself, but you were a paperboy in your teenage years, you could stomach anything.

Dave Jackson:
I'm like, that is not me anymore. And so I get my candles and my car. I don't know what happened. I bought 4 new tires years ago. And the back driver side tire just loses air. It just does. Not rapidly, but about once a month I gotta go put air in it. And the tire light comes on and I'm like, ah.

Dave Jackson:
And I get out, you know, drive to the gas station. It's cold, the wind is blowing my hair. I'm getting rained on. And I feel it, but it's not like it's like, and it's done. I was like, well, that didn't take long. And I kind of heard that voice in my head that said, I bet it's the front tire. We're so used to it being the back tire, we never check the front tire. You should fill it.

Dave Jackson:
And I'm like, I don't want to. And it's like, really? You should fill all the tires. And I'm like, no, it's wet and it's cold and I'm getting rained on. And I should have worn the other coat with a hood on it. And I'm arguing with myself and I'm like, all right, fine, whatever. And I bend down and I fill the front tire. And it takes a few pumps to fill it. And I was like, oh, well, I don't know where that came from, but okay, that's cool, thanks.

Dave Jackson:
But that's not where the story ends. So it's again, it's dark, it's rainy, it's probably, I don't know, 11 o' clock at night. I hate driving again in the dark. And when it rains, I'm just, I'm not a happy Camper. And if you're familiar with Akron, Ohio, George Washington Boulevard is a street that goes behind Derby Downs, home of the Soapbox Derby and what used to be the Rubber Bowl. And it's this, it's a speed trap because there's no lights on it, it's kind of dark, there's not enough lights on it, but there's no traffic lights at all. So it's dark and it's somewhat wooded, so you kind of can't see around the street. And look, I want to get home.

Dave Jackson:
It's dark, it's cold, it's rainy. And I start to speed up. And I hope I don't get surprised with some sort of blue light special in my rear view mirror for those of you that remember Kmart. And I'm flying down this road and I look up and about, I don't know, 40ft in front of me, I see a little white tail go bobbing across the street. Now, if you go back a couple years ago, I was in a seriously nasty car wreck where a deer jumped over the median on the freeway, hit my passenger side front, totaled my car. Basically, in a nutshell, I lucked out. The, you know the thing that pops out of your steering wheel, that thing didn't go. But in the end I lost my car.

Dave Jackson:
So I'm a little PTSD when I'm driving on these two lane roads at night in the rain and I see a deer. So I slam on my brakes, making sure there's nobody behind me because usually where there's one, there's two. But in this case there was just one. And I make it down the rest of George Washington Boulevard and we're good. And it dawns on me, had I not taken the time to fill up that other tire that might have been perfectly timed to clock that deer. And so immediately I said out loud, thank you, God. I really appreciate that. Because like I said, I already got enough time.

Dave Jackson:
PTSD with dears. So I say that to keep your eyes open for blessings in your life. As the old hymn says, count your blessings, name them one by one. Well, yeah, that's good advice. And come into his presence when singing and, and you're going to feel better with an attitude of gratitude. And it takes practice, but I know for myself, I'll give you an example. I struggle with grief, especially around the holidays and you'll see a movie or something that triggers something and you start to feel that loss of the person you miss. And with practice, I can change my mindset from all the years that were robbed of me to being thankful for the years I had with that person.

Dave Jackson:
Not easy. Not my instinct, right? We instantly just the loss takes over. But it's hard, dare I say impossible, to be grateful and scared and grateful and feel hate and feel loss and feel grateful at the same time. And for me, it works. It's not permanent. I'm going to fall back into old habits. But the attitude of gratitude can really come in to save the day if you know somebody who's struggling. Well, first of all, here's something that never works.

Dave Jackson:
When you go, boy, you're in a bad mood, that never works. But if you want to point them my way, this is episode 95. So just tell them to go to feedingmyfaith.com 95. That'll take you right there. While you're there at the website, we've got a buy me a coffee button in the bottom left hand corner. You can click on that if you'd like to. You guessed it. Buy me a coffee and say thanks.

Dave Jackson:
And I thank you. Since this is the week of Thanksgiving for everyone who's listening and who sends feedback. Always deeply appreciated. And if you are an American, I hope you have a splendid Thanksgiving. I'm going to be headed to my brother's house where we will watch football and. And we have for many, many decades. And for those of you not in America, have a wonderful Thursday. Simple.